Thoughts before Spring Break

So Spring Break is about 24 hours away. Right about now tomorrow I'll be on a plane to Myrtle Beach. Just got done with my last exam and have one abstract to write for cell bio tonight. And I'm on duty tonight. Shitty. That's how close I am. I keep envisioning those Corona commercials where I'll be lying beachside listening to Cafe del Mar and wasting away in the sun. Can't wait.

On another note, Bryan, Rita and I are seriously considering going to Colorado for Mountain Mayhem. We found really cheap tickets and had this conversation about how Mich doesn't represent at events. Hey, when people write those things in their blogs, it hits us hard. Well, I personally take it hard. So I think we're going to go ahead and buy the tix today. Let me know if you're going. It's rash, impulsive, expensive, but as a last semester senior with everything to look forward to and in the prime of my academic decline, I want to take advantage of something like this. I definitely wouldn't have gone a year ago. I'll let you know once the tickets have been purchased.

Going to do a lot of soul-searching and thinking over break (in a good way). Have a lot of things to figure out (besides the obvious stuff like where to go to school and what to do over the summer). Going to try and find what I'm really looking for. Until then, I'm signing off for a few days (hopefully not too long.....depends on if the condo gets wireless). Not to worry though, I'm sure I'll speak to some of you nomads Friday night around midnight.

DJ IPod: Death Cab for Cutie ~ Lightness

Raging Apathy for Academia

In a nutshell, here's what I did today: woke up, treated my hangover, took a shower and ate, had the full intention of going to study afterwards in the library and I even brought a backpack, went to integrated sales training, went to the library. They didn't have my book on reserve (they actually had a 1991 version which was rather entertaining) so I went to print notes. I printed them, and then proceeded to go to Pizza House. Had about 5 beers. Feeling pretty good, I went to Vagina Monologues. I must say, what an amazing show. Opened my eyes, had some laughs, and had a new appreciation for women. I loved their cause and it was a very witty, smart play. That brings me to now. 10:45 pm. The entire weekend has flown right by my eyes. And the best part is I don't even care. I'm going to get some green tea, sober up, and watch a movie.

Last night was Blue Party 2005 (aka new member initiation party). Very plesantly surprised. I think with the proper mentorship, our newbies already possess the drive and enthusiasm to really push the LC to a new level. Initially, I was a bit concerned about their partying capabilities and alcoholic tolerances but that soon changed. Last night, Bitches Bitches was brought back to AIESEC Michigan. With a solid group of 15 old and new members, we all regaled with rhythmic clapping and excess drinking. New names were brought to the table (I was particularly fond of my mentee Jack, who was "Trojan Condom"), old members who are not frequent players (including our faithful LCP), and old-school all stars (Donkey Punch and Pink Taco). We even reincarnated the spirit of my good friend Stunt Cock. Lastly, we asked our newbies if they were leaders, to which they replied in high pitched, naive voices, "oh of course, I'm in AIESEC!!" To which I replied, "start chugging out of the handle tool." (background noise: leader, leader, leader, LEADER, LEADER!!)

I think it's time to call it a night. Becuase I've accomplished so much today. Sweet dreams.

DJ Ipod: Way Out West ~ Killah

It was inevitable: the pictures from ROKS have surfaced. I have included them here because I have no shame.

So that's that. Let me give you an interview horror story. So I've been battling with this damn head-cold strep throat malady, and I knew it would eventually lead to the ultimate faceoff in St. Louis. I get off the plane after I passed out for the last hour and realized I couldn't hear anything. Not even the cries of my own voice. After calling my dad frantically, his medical opinion was 'oh son, the cabin pressure and congestion in your ears have created an overwhelming force. Pop some sudafed.' I'm asking the airport people where a pharmacy is and apparently I was screaming at these people (I was in a rush). After obtaining the proper pharmaceuticals, I walk to the metro. I'm a genius and don't carry cash when I travel so getting a train ticket proved challenging. I go back to the airport, search high and low for an ATM, pay the damn surcharges (I hate the stupid ATM fees) and go back to the metro. The ticket machine does not accept twenty dollar bills. T-30 minutes til my first interview. I figured now would be a good time for me to pop some prozac pills because I was about to snap. I find a Starbucks (the one time I can appreciate that they exist on literally every street corner in America), make change, and go back to the ticket counter. One thing you can appreciate about St. Louis. They don't have people who check tickets, or gates that ask for your tickets. You can literally walk to the train stop and get on. I even asked the students there and they agreed that you almost never have to pay for metro tickets. Anyways, I eventually made it to my interview (5 minutes early). They decide to take me to lunch on the 17th floor of a beautiful building so I could get a view of the city. We get to this elevator that literally stops on every floor. I'm already close to death and the nausea only punctuated the overall feeling. After we get to floor 17, the interviewers realize they have made a rather crucial error: reservations (or lack thereof). Another restaurant was in my future. We go back down 17 floors (making sure to stop on each floor again). I was ready to die. I could have died happily there. Anyways, after lunch at another restaurant, the situation came to a calm and had a great rest of the day. With or without hearing or my stomach. Ironically, the institute for deaf studies was right across the street from my interview. There were also several hospitals within walking distance. It was God's way of dotting the I's and crossing the T's.

So after my interview, I obviously went back to the airport. I got there about two hours before my flight so I decided I'd get some work done. I looked around and saw a rather sad scene around me. Scene 1: the consultant. This guy travels about 5 days a week, makes 6 figures and never goes home. Right across from me, there's a guy with burger grease dripping down his $900 Hugo Boss suit telling his wife that he won't be home until next week. Miserable. Scene 2: the long-distance couple. A man and a woman saying goodbye to each other and realizing the next time they see each other is in two or three months. I've been there. It's gut-wrenching pain. Scene 3: the airport alcoholic. The guys who are at the bar for hours at a time, speaking his troubles about life to the airport bartender because there is no one else who'll listen. Maybe this was just an unordinary Friday night. But some of these scenes are recurring events everytime I head to an airport.

Chinese New Year cultural event and new member party tonight (aka Blue Party 2005). Nomads worldwide, expect some drunk dials.


DJ Ipod: Snoop Dogg f. Pharell ~ Let's Get Blown

It feels like Ebola

For the first time in four years of college, I am actually sick. I think post-ROKS killed me. Baller I am not. I remember back in the good old days where I reveled on the lack of sleep and was constantly driven on caffeine and adrenaline highs. Now I'm just old and susceptible to illness. It's true what they say: your body's immune system really does start fading after a certain point. I remember taking this internet test in high school that tested your stress levels, day-to-day activities and sleep patterns and then predicted your life expectancy. As my high school friends surely remember, my life expectancy was 29. That explained the ulcers I got my senior year.

Anyways, the four hours of total sleep for the weekend and fighting the fluctuating temperatures of Purdue and Michigan has led the University Health Services to conclude that was the cause of my strep throat. Currently, I am doped up on pennicilin, tylenol, afrin nasal spray, and robitussin. So sexy. In the last three days, I've slept more than 30 hours. I feel constantly dizzy and if a little girl hit me, I'd probably fall over.

Trying really hard to rest up before heading down to St. Louis tomorrow. Hard to be at an interview when you can hardly hear the questions because your ears are clogged from sinuses. The flight alone might just kill me. Back to sleep I go.

DJ Ipod: Matt Nathanson ~ Curve of the Earth

ROKS recap and other musings

Be careful. This is a long post. Lot of thinking going on. As the title says, this weekend was ROKS. Here's just a summary of what happened and what I learned:

- Got drunk on the trip down with my car (except the driver). The experienced members show the SNs and new members how to drink AIESEC sauce.
- Stopped at a Walgreen's where they sold male urinals (by male urinal, I mean a cheap nalgene ripoff bottle)
- In Michigan, we are spoiled: you can't buy alcohol in Indiana unless everyone you are with has an ID
- I threw Raz's shoe out the door into the parking lot. Needless to say, Connie was not pleased. I apologize.
- Police show up at 3 am, go on a power trip and decide to yell at non-drinkers who were watching a movie and laughing. The next morning, every person not part of the AIESEC delegation leaves the hotel, files a complaint and vows never to come back. The hotel (if you call Knight's Inn a hotel) decides that if there is one more noise complaint, every AIESEC member must leave.
- I throw a pair of goggles (don't ask) at Greg and it shatters into shards on his body. He was so drunk, he never felt a thing.
- Chris Kaiser proceeds to insult my karate skills. I proceed by almost breaking his hand when I kicked him.
- Pass out around 6 am. Friday night moves to Saturday morning when I wake up at 8 am to the obnoxious screams of Williams trying to wake me up.
- Attend the conference, facilitate two sessions.
- Go to Walmart and purchase four shirts from the girl's section at a discount Valentine's day price (for the evening's festivities)
- Saturday night begins with a date auction. Me, Williams, Trent and Kaiser choreograph a dance to Sean Paul's 'Get Busy.' We end up stripping (hence the whole purpose of the walmart shirts). Ironic, me, williams and rickesh made vows earlier Friday night to not lose our clothes. Rickesh succeeded. In the end, we amassed 4000 Rickash dollars and 4 beautiful girls' virginities. Mission accomplished.
- Because of the noise at Knight's Inn, party moves to Buffalo Wild Wings. Liquor is cheap in Indiana. After 4 long islands, two or three blue moons, a few tequila body shots and something called a scooby snack, (Holly, wtf?) we head over to Roland's house for the party. Drink out of a goblet resembling that of Lil' Jon. Party with Madison (who still knows how to bring the party) til 6 or 7 am. Proceed to pass out at an unknown time.
- Leave the next morning at the ungodly hour of 10 am. Pass out in car.

(Sigh), that may be my last ROKS conference. Went down in style I guess. I was chatting with Andrew (DC) about whether or not I want to continue my AIESEC career. For example, if I end up in a school where there is an LC, I may just pay them a visit every now and then. I was even thinking that if I went to Cornell, I could help Dominique kick off the LC there. Do I even have time for this? I guess you make time for what's important and somehow manage to squeeze it in. It's definitely a possibility. About 5 minutes ago, I found out I got into Carnegie Mellon. Woot. Working with an LC that definitely needs help (i.e. Pittsburgh) would be a great opportunity and something I'd enjoy doing.

Valentine's day is how I imagined it to be. Hearing from another school definitely helped the mood. The weather outside is reminiscent of how I feel about today (visit weather.com and type in zip code 48109 and results show it is damp, rainy, cold and little chance of sunshine in the near future). I'm handling it. Going out to dinner with an old friend tonight won't hurt.

Need to start making life choices soon. Where do I want to end up? City life (where I can't afford anything for four years.....) or another beautiful college town? I honestly wouldn't be unhappy going anywhere that I applied. Obviously I choose some places over others, but now I have to take into effect things like how much money they are giving me, student loans, job prospects based on location, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am excited. Also a bit scared. Scared of being disappointed, or worse, unhappy. I feel like the next 4 years are going to be very defining moments of life, with respect to what I do (which is obvious), but also the people I meet, the person I potentially end up marrying, the area I choose to reside in, and what kind of lifestyle I have essentially. 4 years of school (with no break inbetween college and grad school) is a big plunge. One reason I'm going to this job interview in Boston is to weigh working for a year (deferring from school of course so I can save my spot:) ) versus going straight into school. Is the freedom all that liberating? My parents (and other old people I've spoken to) say that a job out of college is extremely tempting but it makes it very difficult to go back to school. Plus, with what I want to do in my life, I need a few degrees to be credible and move up the ladder. I don't think that working right out of school will get me exactly where I want to go. Either way, Boston in a week to find out.

DJ Ipod: Damien Rice ~ Cannonball

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

I have a future.....taking next steps

What a cliched title. As for my future, I actually have one. Found out Tuesday that I got admitted to Michigan's law (JD) and health administration (MHA) program. 2 degrees. 4 years. That's a lot of work. Come September, I have to regain control of my motivation to do work and actually start spending evenings in the library. From what I hear, this program is rough, but extremely rewarding and fulfilling. Needless to say, I'm set for the future. Completely ecstatic.

So here are current thoughts on mind:

- Soooo excited that I have something to do after graduation. I just rocked my interview too (15 mins ago w/Tulane). Had a really good one with Cornell too earlier this week. Columbia, NYU and Hopkins will let me know in the near future. Nervous? Not anymore. Actually eagerly anticipating my future. Now that I know I have plans, I am taking it way too easy. Like a full-fledged mental intervention that's telling me to skip classes, not study for exams and go to the bar. At this very moment, Shirley and I are rewarding ourselves for not going to classes by buying stuff online. But at this very second, I don't care :)
- Trying to decide where I want to live next year. I mean, 4 years in Ann Arbor might be too much for me. I have tremendous amounts of love for Ann Arbor, but I think I need to get out of here. Maybe I'll do my master's program here, and go to law school in a city. Right now, still have the dying urge to move out East.
- Valentine's Day - no plans this year.....times like this that movies like 'Love Actually' piss me off.
- Looking forward to this weekend: ROKS conference in Purdue. I'm helping facilitate two sessions and the people going make it worth it. It's funny, I started my AIESEC life at Purdue at YES three years ago (at what I thought was an abysmal conference) and now this could very well be my last. People think otherwise, some are actually pretty sure I'll be in the bay area oh right around SSC. We'll have to see I suppose.
- Intense travel schedule coming up. It's going to take it's toll somewhere around the week of the 21st after I get back from Boston.
- Spring break will be amazing. Me and three of my favorite people in a beachside condo for five days. Can't complain. Also spending a few days in our new house in North Carolina my father. I'm sad that I won't ever go back to my house in Minnesota, and this new house will never be a replacement, but how often am I actually going to go back? The trips home will be decreasing, I'm getting older :(
- What to do this summer? I have the job in DC with the government and it's in a new division of HSS, which would be an incredible and invaluable experience. However, I haven't had a free summer in four years. Greg and I were discussing going to Southeast Asia and helping with tsunami relief efforts. I think I'm looking for something that will be a complete anomaly for my rigid schedule and searching for a far more gratifying experience from my previous work experiences. Not to say I haven't loved what I've done in the last three years, but I think I'm just looking for a new source of inspiration before I shack myself up for 4 more years of school where my opportunities to step outside my comfort box will be limited.
- Really looking forward to graduating. I very badly want to flip to the next chapter in my life.

That's it for now. Next post will be after ROKS with some crazy pictures. Meyers and I remembered this was our one year stripping anniversary at a YES conference (anyone remember? Claude? Bruni? Burbs?) God. We'll see what happens this weekend.

DJ Ipod: Emiliana Torrini ~ Telepathy

Think of me very scientifically
Share your thoughts with me
Send them over land and see

They seep through walls
Echo down abandoned halls
Let me see your joy and fear

How can it be we never see
What we have until it's gone
Why is it so we never know
What we have until it's gone

The more I try, all the faster you'll slip by
So vaporize
Slide to me like liquid ice
I can see into your eyes

Late-night perspectives

So I'm writing this in the morning (instead of late last night) just because the thoughts are still fresh in my mind. It was a beautiful night, and in my semi-drunken stupor, I decided to take a walk through the graveyard. That sounds a lot more morbid than it actually is, but sometimes I just go there to reflect (plus, it's right across the street). I looked back on the night and everything else that has happened recently. It's already February. Given the short school year that Michigan has, we'll be out of this place in a little less than three months. Am I going to leave this place knowing that I have done and have experienced everything in these last four years? I would hate to leave with inhibitions and 'would've-should've-could've' thoughts. And I think after looking back at everything that has happened in the last four years, I have not hit my full potential, but I realize what I have to do in order to get there. I think that means I understand myself and my limits and that I have historically been able to achieve anything I've set my mind on. I have amassed a great group of close friends and I think I have embraced the meaning of living in the moment and for once, not constantly looking at the future.

Speaking of the future, I had a conversation today with someone who doesn't think about the future. In fact, he actually hates even trying to perceive what's going to happen 10 minutes from now. As someone who prepares each day trying to picture what he's going to do in the next thirty, I found myself struggling to imagine how someone lives with that mentality. But then I put myself on the spot and asked if it was possible that maybe I was blindsighting myself by thinking so far ahead that I sometimes miss the present opportunity for something great? I definitely think I've been better at not throwing myself head-first into future plans without thoroughly examining the present first. However, that still doesn't mean that each and every thing that I do has a purpose (usually one with the future in mind) and maybe that's dangerous right now.

Other than that, it was an interesting week full of ups and downs. The Michigan interview went well (I hope) and the admissions committee will decide my fate and let me know on Tuesday. Naturally, I'm freaking out. In terms of the program I want to pursue, the dual degree program at Michigan is the best in the nation. Another four years at Michigan? It's a possibility. I also got interviews with Tulane and Washington University in St. Louis. Actually, Wash U was a funny story. They send me the thinnest envelope which I didn't pick up until about 9:30 pm on Thursday after a horrendous physics exam. Naturally, I was expecting a rejection, but turns out they actually want me for an interview. Didn't see that coming. Also, had a good bday celebration for Greg that encompassed Thursday and Friday nights. If I don't go to Michigan for grad school, I will be back for his 21st.

This month's travel schedule will really take it out of me:

- 2.11.05 ~ 2.13.05: ROKS conference (Purdue)
- 2.18.05 ~ 2.18.05: St. Louis (Wash U Interview)
- 2.21.05 ~ 2.21.05: Boston (Provident Interview)
- 2.25.05 ~ 3.06.05: Myrtle Beach (Spring Break)

Current Music: Jamie Cullum - High and Dry