What a night

Last night will be another wonderful AIESEC memory I can take with me when I leave this place. Once again, I didn't have intentions of going out, but this time I was glad I did. Said goodbye to one of my favorite trainees in my four years here at Michigan. We chatted about what a life-changing experience her traineeship was and how much horizons broadened in her short stay here. I'll have to make a trip out to Germany and visit her in the future.

Doesn't seem like today will amount to much productivity. At least, not until later tonight. Went to bed around 6:30 am after an enthralling game of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the ol' Nintendo Entertainment System with my residents. Today's agenda: nap, mongolian bbq, Gunner Palace, study til death. Not looking forward to this week. Thursday evening: birthday festivities begin.

DJ Ipod: Thrillseekers ~ Dreaming of You

Feeling a bit under-accomplished and disenchanted with life lately. Probably because I don't feel like I've done anything project or goal-oriented lately. My classes mean little to me and the last thirty-some days of my education here at Michigan are going to be a struggle - finals will soon kick into gear and I will have to actually study. After four years here, I don't think I'll ever understand the practicality of my molecular biology major. How many college students pursue a career that is completely unrelated to their major? Maybe it's just a huge case of senioritis. Actually, that's exactly what it is. There are thirty-some days left in Michigan for me to amass all the experiences I've wanted here since joining the university in 2001. I've been a bit of a social butterfly lately, going from party to party and, beginning weekends on Wednesday, and being very unorthodox-Arnaub.

Had quite a shocker of a realization today. I've been reading a blog called 'anonymouslawyer' for quite some time and it depicts the story of a lawyer at a high-profile LA law firm and how miserable the corporate law lifestyle is. It was written in a very witty, sardonic manner and painted a rather bleak picture of his worklife, family and the ins and outs of corporate law. I was asking myself, "is this what I am getting into?" Funny turn of events: the author of the blog is actually not even a lawyer, but a second-year Harvard law student who made up everything. It was quite brilliant. Unfortunately, this law student has lost his offer from the firm he worked with over the summer. Not to worry however; he scored over two dozen book deals and is currently giving up law to write about 'anonymous lawyer.' Amazing. Jim, you would love this. I highly recommend it.

The weekend begins now.

DJ Ipod: Snow Patrol ~ Run

Plans

The weekend is over. And it was so nice. I had long Thursday and Friday nights and promised myself that Saturday would be spent inside. Little did I realize how spineless and weak-willed of an individual I am. So instead, I went out for drinks at Pizza House and Full Moon. A few pitchers later, all was well. Today was spent attempting to write. Put in about 6 hours on my thesis and am now on page 40 something. In the end, you will have a masterpiece on the ethics and morality of physician-assisted suicide. Unfortunately, the philosophy paper on Robert Frank's use of emotions to solve the commitment problem will be delayed due to apathy and laziness.

On another note, Columbia has decided to wait-list me. NYU still uncertain. Actually, I expected Columbia to reject me, but now the wait-listers will here final decisions by April 30th. Either way, I have made a decision: I'll be at Cornell University for the next four years. What's nice is that all my summers will be spent in NYC (the program requires a summer internship at a firm which are all located in the city). So 9 months in Ithaca (talk about going in the opposite direction in terms of weather) and 3 in NYC. I'm actually really excited to head out there. Gorges, here I come.

In terms of my summer, I don't think I'll be heading back to Washington DC this year. I've never really had a free summer, so I'm going to spend it in Minnesota going to my sister's and friends' graduations (Holly, you're on my list), going to Miflin block party up at Madtown, taking a camping trip to Yellowstone, going to Cabrew, spending some time in North Carolina with the folks, and hopefully doing a nice road trip up the east coast. I am not whoring myself to the government this summer and it'll be great :)

DJ Ipod: Friday Night Lights Soundtrack

Well last night is one gigantic blur. The festivities started at 3 pm and the amount of alcohol consumed matched that of Madison. For once I feel like AIESEC Michigan actually got together and partied. Felt great. Actually got to chat with the new members (an opportunity I missed when I didn't go to LCR because of the Mayhem) and even helped them understand AIESEC info systems. Another successful St. Patty's day.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about what motivates students to do well at our university and whether these motivations are well-founded or rather just an attempt to get a high GPA at a brand name undergraduate degree to propel them towards a high-paying job or advanced degree that will grant them copious amounts of money in the future. My disenchanted friend feels the the competition here is ill-motivated and people are willing to slit the throat of their best friend to get that elusive spot in the first year medical school class. In many ways he is right. Is our academic motivation purely driven to get ahead in life and not for the sake of higher academic enlightenment? For many people, that's a major detractor to do well here. It's almost sad to know that there will always be someone else who will go a little bit further than you to do better. For four years, I thrived off of this and fed off of this impetus to perform well at this school. I was one of those students. Not necessarily the "slit-your-throat-to-get-in-law-school" student, but I can safely say I reveled off of this internal rivalry with literally every other student that fed my academic fervor. Here's to hoping that graduate school will provide me an education that isn't driven off of these motives and that the material I learn is for the sake of learning and not just getting the grade.

I feel like I haven't posted in a while. Watching my name fall further down the list on nomadlife was a cause for action. Unfortunately I've actually been really busy this week failing the cellular biology exam. I'm going to have a nice, no-traveling weekend where I will sort out my life and figure out where to live next year. People laugh and mock me, but having options is actually a burden to me because I hadn't anticipated the situation. Now I actually have to weigh the positives and negatives of every school and all of a sudden, the words "top choice" mean a lot less than they did 6 months ago.

DJ Ipod: Howie Day ~ Numbness for Sound

Recovery

Just got back from Colorado. Plane ticket to Denver: $250. Losing the parking ticket in Chicago: $32. A bowl of soup at Arapahoe Basin: $6.50. Setting off the fire alarms in the hot tub, getting kicked out at 2 am, and dealing with the police? Watching shirtless European trainees jump off the balcony? Watching Austin (most of whom have never seen snow) try to ski? Missing the 6 am flight back to Chicago? Designating CO3 roles in life for me, Emir and Ashlee? (just for the record, I am PR1) Driving back from the resort in a uncovered pickup truck with three of us in the trunk while going 75 mph on the highway? Biting through the AIESEC Miami shotglass during the body shots? (Kevin, I am forever sorry and I will make it up to you...) All priceless. Mountain mayhem surpassed all expectation. I've slept about 6 hours since Thursday.

To do this week: cell biology exam Wednesday, physics formal lab report Wednesday, physics homework due in 9 hours, more physics homework due Wednesday. I guess that means I have to get past Wednesday.

DJ Ipod: Frou Frou ~ Shh

Patiently waiting.....

The last couple of nights have been really nice, for lack of a better word. The phone calls from Scandal and Holly definitely helped. Last night I also got to talk to someone I've missed. Made me smile. And instead of studying for physics, went over to 507 last night and drank martinis with Colleen, who coincidentally will also fail her exam today. Not at all petrified of this horrendously difficult physics exam I have in about 3 hours. Instead, I'm dreaming of the Rocky Mountains and skiing the beautiful slopes of Arapahoe Basin in about 20 hours.

Also, congrats to my lil sis. She just got into Dartmouth. She's been freaking out and so ready to get out of the sheltered existence she leads back at home. I'm sure she'll get in everywhere else....just very nice to have that sense of relief, as I'm sure a lot of you seniors awaiting graduation are well aware of.

I made a list of things I would like to do. I was semi-inspired by Trent's blog on aiesec.ws where he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died. Mine isn't that long-term, but rather a short-term list of ventures and goals I'd like to achieve within a relatively short amount of time.

1. Listen to Pismler Advanced French language tapes and try to solidify my knowledge of the language
2. Go to southern France and practice my French (Parisian French is a bit different)
3. Read all of Jack Kerouac's novels
4. Buy a tenor saxophone and start playing again
5. Read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"
6. Build a strong stock portfolio and invest my earnings in bonds and no-load mutual funds
7. Read "The Alchemist"
8. Learn to play the piano
9. Travel to Southeast Asia
10. Learn about black-and-white photo manipulation
11. Climb a mountain

These all seem realistic and actually within reach. Bryan and I are leaving to drive to Chicago at 5 am. Our flight from Chicago to Denver departs at 10:10 am. We will be in Denver at noon. I'll be in the hot tub at 1 pm.

DJ Ipod: Kate Rogers ~ Fine

Motivation, or lack thereof

First off, I think any Indian as well as anyone at WSC to see Rickesh dance will appreciate this song

Secondly, I told myself today I would go to the library. I packed my bags and even got coffee so I would stay awake. I went downstairs for dinner (with coat and backpack and everything, with full intention of going to the library), ate dinner, looked at the door that led to the outside, and turned around and went back to my room. At this very minute, I am sprawled out in shorts and a t-shirt with green tea and I'm blogging.

I need to snap out of this phase. Got some grades back today. Granted it wasn't my best work, but for the minimal effort I put in, it wasn't all that bad. However, it was bordering some dangerous territory. My cell bio exam was pretty awful. Good thing I'm going to Mountain Mayhem and not studying for the exam which is next Wednesday. Going to have to put in some serious time next week.

Anyways, another thing that came to my attention today was the recent dismissal of Stonecipher from Boeing because of an office romance that was "improper conduct with a female executive." But how inappropriate was his conduct? He confessed to the relationship and never denied any affiliation with her. The relationship was consensual and she didn't even report to him. However, there was Boeing's code of conduct to be followed and he apparently broke it. So do office romances fail miserably? Let's say there was no company policy. Then is it permissible to have an office romance? Do office romances work? There are positive and negative aspects to it, but it seems that the negative (rivalry/competition in the workplace, the potential ramifications of a breakup, actually getting fired if she is your superior....) outweigh the positive. Any thoughts?

1. Was Boeing's handling of CEO Harry Stonecipher's admitted affair with a company executive ...
	An overreaction?		59%
	Too low key?		3%
	About right?		38%
total responses to this question: 21869

Kind of makes you think about AIESECest in general.....successful venture or horrible mistake? I would love to hear Madtown's thoughts on this.....


DJ Ipod: Keane ~ Somewhere Only We Know

Competition

Drunken twister
Originally uploaded by akcbeast.

Before I begin posting, here's what spring break looked like.....

The rest of the photos can be found here.....


The title of this post is called 'competition' because after chatting with my family (uncles and aunts included......they came to visit us in North Carolina), I realized that my generation of cousins are uber-competitive. I'm surrounded by vice presidents, doctors, Ivy League universities, partners at law firms, 20 year old CEOs, upcoming politicians, professors, German automobiles, country clubs, and an aura of competition and drive that just keeps escalating. Seeing that I'm one of the youngest in the family who's "up and coming," I get to inadvertently compete with this rising group of individuals who's probably going to take over the world. It's funny, I was chatting with my cousin and he was saying how my other cousin came to join him to play tennis. So the limosine driver waits for my cousin to complete his tennis match and then escorts him home. My other cousin is like, "well I have to beat that somehow....!" It seems that the cousins all revel in each others' success and try to one-up each other by the car they drive or the private school they send their kids. There is only me and Raj in our generation of early 20 year-olds and it's our turn to show the family what we can do. He's already taken over the world in so many ways (he's even been on MTV's 'Room Raiders.') And I kind of thrive off of this "challenge." Seeing the fruits of everyone else's labor is more fuel for my fire. Part of me can't wait to finally show what I'm capable of, and now that I'm at that stage in my life where I can start turning heads, I'm absolutely ready to begin. It's funny, but it seems all of my cousins went to prestigious universities, and the real test to see if you were successful began after college was complete and what steps you took afterwards. So here I am. Let's go.

DJ IPod: Death Cab for Cutie ~ Lightness

What dessert would you like to eat at the end of your meal?

So today I had the opportunity to have a meeting with my Dad's boss, who is a big shot here in the world of healthcare administration. Seemed like the perfect person to talk to about my professional goals and helping me decide where to go to graduate school. However, what I didn't expect was the life lesson stuff he taught me in the course of an hour that really slapped me in the face and made me realize what I wanted out of my life. Not that these are thoughts that just occurred to me, but I've had fleeting realizations that have fluttered in and out of my mind about what's really important in life and they have frequently been clouded by society's stereotypes of success. What I finally did today was break down my parochial mindset and really focus on what I wanted.

Here's how we broke it down: first he asked me to list what I thought my priorities are in my life the older I get. Deceivingly simple question. After what felt like 10 hours had passed, I finally answered. Professionally (and I could possibly look back at this and think to myself, "God....how presumptuous and naive was I??"), I want what everyone wants. To find a job where they are excited to go into work each day and realize that they are making a monumental difference in someone's life (this is why AIESECers to what they do:)) For me, that means to transform and revolutionize the way that health care and parity is delivered in the United States. So initially that may mean becoming a consultant, taking on a fellowship in a hospital, serving as a policy analyst for the government, or working as a lawyer for a firm like Bazelton. Or anything else I want to do. Ultimately, I am confident that I want to take my private practice experience and implement my knowledge and training at the government at the policymaking level. That means helping idiotic congressmen make the right decisions and stop being prodigal with our taxpayer's money on defense. As I spoke with Dr. Hayes (the guy I referred to above), I think I was always subconsciously afraid of ending up in some top 5 firm in a cushy office working 100 hours a week and then being chauffeured home each evening where I wouldn't even be able to kiss my wife and kids goodnight because they were already asleep. Is the seven figure salary worth it? It seems less so now than it did before.

Granted I want to be wealthy and with all hopes I will be. But not at the expense of my happiness. I don't want to be another Michigan BBA who sells his soul to Goldman Sachs at the price of his/her freedom. That pipe dream of happiness where you are rolling in money after a 9-5 day doesn't exist at that kind of job. And this steady stream of 100 hour weeks does not end in your 20s. I've seen members of my family hold down these jobs only to regret that they are 35 and aren't married yet because they never had time.

That brings me to my personal priorities. Family, marriage and quality of life. The one thing that Dr. Hayes told me that I probably won't forget for a long time: "I am a trained scientist and physician. The only real science that I believe in is true love. You're going to find that the relationship that matters most is with the woman you spend the rest of your life with." This guy was a 70 year-old poet who just spouted off euphemisms and esoteric quotes from obscure sources that just boggled my mind. He told me that where I went to grad school is probably where I will end up meeting my future wife. Additionally, there is a good chance that where I go grad school is where I will end up living for an extended period of time, in terms of the work I do and where I eventually will reside. With that said, I don't think I can see myself living in the south. It would be too long of a culture shock that I am just not willing to acclimate to at this point in my life. As for raising a family, I want to be the kind of father that my dad is. In terms of surpassing one's defintion of success in all aspects of life, I don't think it can be done with respect to my dad. He's accomplished almost everything he envisioned in his life and is still escalating in the world professionally. Additionally, he never put forth his professional life at the expense of his family. That was most apparent when we moved to Minneapolis in 1991 for the betterment of lifestyle for the family, even though he was at the top of his game. What does that mean to me? It means that I would take the salary cut and work for another firm so that I could have an extra 20 hours per week to my family. I'm reading this and saying to myself,"wow.....I would've never even uttered these words a year ago."

So how am I redefining success? I still want to be financially successful. That means different things to different people. To me, that means cracking the top 1.5% of the U.S. population (see U.S. Department of Labor to find out what that number is exactly). I've realized that the Arnaub two years ago who believed in literally wanting everything is going to have to make sacrifices to get what he really wants. What is really reality (redundancy?) in life is what is underneath the perfect exterior you see. It's all a facade. You could look at the Harvard MBAs at the top of the business world, but underneath their professional success lies two or three failed marriages, alimony payments, fragmented family relationships and condos that they own but haven't seen yet. Perfect case study: Donald Trump. Obviously this doesn't hold true for everyone. I have control of so much of my life and I don't want to be unhappy. And somehow I am having this fortune-teller's moment where I foresee harbingers of emotional doom if I try to have all my cake and eat it too.

I'm only 21 years old (22 in exactly one month!) and I feel like I've mapped out my entire life. So where do I want to end up in two months? By April 15th, all shall be known (well, probably sooner). Damn, I wish I could check my mail back in Ann Arbor to hear from those elusive universities. All I know now is that I know where I want my education to take me. I want to end up on the East Coast in a big city (at least in my 20s). Yesterday's reality isn't necessarily today's reality. My degrees are only going to be my foot into the door into some of the most amazing opportunities that I could only have imagined a few years ago. However, 30 years from now, my experiences and how much I've grown will matter so much more than what school I went to and how many degrees I have. With that said, Dr.Hayes told me to 'put all the schools I've gotten into in a hat. And pull one out.' In some respects, he's right. I'd honestly be happy to go anywhere I've gotten into so far. Quite frankly, I'm at a wonderful and very fortunate position in my life right now. Obviously there are some places I'd rather go than others. So I'll figure that out soon. And I'll make a choice and never look back.

DJ Ipod: Bliss ~ Sleep Will Come

Watching the waves

Before I start the actual post, I just want to say that it is done. Bryan and I will be holding it down for Michigan at Mountain Mayhem. I will be set back a couple of hundred of dollars, but I'm considering it my "reward for having a future next year." I think I owe it to myself to have a ski weekend down in Colorado. Looking forward to it like you wouldn't believe.

So I'm at the halfway point of spring break. Greg, Lynn, and Hannah have just left Myrtle Beach and I'm at our new house in North Carolina. It's very strange to say that because for all I know, I'm still a Minnesotan and probably will never feel really at home in this place with the exception of family being here. The last five days are a blur. Before we even get there, we find out that my dad has taken the liberty of upgrading us to a 1oth floor penthouse condo oceanfront. This place had 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, two balconies overlooking the ocean, a jacuzzi, two hot tubs downstairs.....I mean we were living. It was like the house from the Real World. Some of the bits and pieces I can remember: drunken trivial pursuit followed by drunken twister, ice lounges, 40 year-old bongo thumping men, south carolina long islands, swirlies, toilet water, 7 pm liquor laws, caterpillar construction units, crawfish, $500 breakdowns, da-wayne, 2 am moonlit stumblings on the beach, and vampires. Needless to say, it was how I envisioned it. Incriminating pictures up soon. Now that the first half is over, the second half will include cellular biology, physics, sorting out my thoughts, hanging out with the family, and a few interviews. Have to get a decent amount of sleep to catch up from the last few days. Drunken sleep is not really sleep.

DJ Ipod: Mantra f. Linda Oliveri ~ Lullaby