Life has been moving on fast-forward lately. With Thanksgiving break gone, that means three solid weeks of hell before I can breathe easy again. Got through my first final today without much of an ulcer, so that's promising. The next four prove to be much more mentally arduous.
So nomadfest is not to be this year. The expenses are overwhelming (upwards of $1500) and as much as I hate to say it, plans fell through. I'm sorryto disappoint. We will all reunite at DC in April. However, my international travels will continue. This kid and I booked tickets to Stockholm from December 28-January 5th. Countries on the agenda? Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, and Norway. Trust me, it can be done. Only ferry rides separate us. What's ironic is that I ran into a good friend of mine over Thanskgiving break and he just happens to know these two Swedish girls who live in Malvo (a 45 min. ferry ride away from Copenhagen), so if all works out, New Year's will be spent either in Stockholm or in Copenhagen, or wherever the night takes us with two beautiful Swedish women. I can't really plan this trip until my finals are over, but the fact is that we're going and an insouciant spirit has taken ahold of me. For once, I can relax, not micromanage (and be all Arnaub-like) and just do things whimsically without a care. Scandinavia navidad in t-30 days.
Well I'm off to grab my fourth vodka drink in the last hour. Yes, it's Tuesday. But one final down means I gotta celebrate. I'm suprisingly coherent thus far....but the night's still young....waking up at 6:30 am tomorrow will be a bitch.
No surface shines brighter than the light that burns beneath it
Why has it felt like so much has been going on but little to post? I spent two weekends ago in NYC, living vicariously through my AIESEC posse. Both nights ended at an excellent hookah bar on 9th Ave. Greg, I apologize about the tequila. Luckily, you evaded getting arrested at the airport. Shocking that you could carry an open container through security. Makes you question how much money they could spend on security and still miss that. Nonetheless, I would never forgive myself had you gone to prison.
I made an interesting discovery about myself today. I was offered a position with Lehman Brothers for the summer to work in their legal department and health policy sector. While it sounds like an amazing opportunity, I continued to question myself. Prior to coming to Cornell, I promised myself that I wouldn't be all "arnaub" about the choices I would have to make during my time here. Being "arnaub" has historically meant jumping to potential career decisions based on some sort of unexplainable allure, but one that doesn't necessarily resonate with my heart's best interest. Examples: last year, I almost jumped towards a fast-track career with the Clandestine Service sector of the CIA. No joke. I almost lost three good friends because of it and the moral ramifications of my decision. Obviously I turned them down, but why was I drawn to them in the first place? It seems like a precociously obnoxious thought, but somehow I was captivated by being a secret agent or righting wrongs, or assuming Porter Goss' position in the future. But retrospectively, I regret wasting my time on it.
Now that this opportunity has presented itself, do I even want to work for a company like this? I always thought I'd do better things with my future than work 100 hours a week (for those of you who know me, fulfilling my own expectations has been a recurring theme in my life) and selling my soul for a position like this. Even in the interview, the VP of equities came off like such an asshole, literally looking down on me (he was a good foot and a half taller than me) like I was a slave to this firm before I even entered it. After talking to a plethora of people, I hear, "what, are you crazy? You're not taking this job??" or "you are just not meant to work in that environment and were meant for better things..." While I am turning down the offer, why am I constantly vacillating? I don't want to regret making a wrong choice, and I rarely, if ever, look back on a decision that was made with confidence. What I am content with is is the fact that when these initally seductive opportunities present themselves, driving me down some winding road that is not right for me, I now have the cognizance to recognize what I'm doing before potentially making a disastrous error in judgment.
Whew, that was a mouthful. Back to work. This weekend will find me back in Ann Arbor for some debauchery, a Michigan win over the evil that is Ohio State and reuniting with old friends. I can't wait.
So I don't have time to update fully because I'm a slave to the library, but here are pictures from Halloween.....so it wasn't Madison Halloween and I didn't get tear-gassed or anything. However, the pictures just show that age is relative and only a figment of the imagination and you're only as old as you act :)
Heading down to NYC for some much needed R&R after going through what initially seemd like an insurmountable week. As of now, Egypt is still on the agenda and this guy backing out won't stop me (even though he had good, grown-up reasons for doing so).
I'll update sometime this weekend with some lingering thoughts that have been on my mind.
